It’s important to remind yourself
That in the absence of someone else’s presence
You are never to question or demean 
The worth of your own existence
She dances under broken skies
Seeking pleasure with the pain
Of holding souls in tainted cries
While they melt into her veins
Her skin dripping with conviction
An infected moral code
Countless sins, on a hopeful whim
To pay a debt that she was owed

Into Nothing

I stared into a blank piece of lined paper for possibly an hour, following the margins and tracing the outside edges of the page with my pen. It was unlike me to draw a blank and yet here I was, emptier than I could ever imagine. What could I possibly write? How could I possibly articulate a feeling of nothing.

Impending emotions grow heavy on my chest as mental turns to physical and I am no longer capable of repressing. Not even the sound of my dog’s steady breathing soothes me as I continue to act as though I’m capable of refusing reality. In times like these I would desperately reach out, a phone call away, you’d promise me comfort and soon after I would drift to sleep.

Instead, I find myself in a constant state of self doubt. What was real? What was fake? Who was I to you and who did I become? Never have I ever found myself habitually questioning my own being. Never have I questioned my own words. But I understand now, I understand that sometimes after all is said and done, words turn into nothing.

Will you tell them that I loved you?
Or neglect to speak the truth?
Give me the brush that you will use
To paint me the one uncouth

Though you drew yourself a tainted heart
Strokes of detail the world should see
I will hide those colors dyed too dark
Your work of art is safe with me
You promised you could handle 
All those broken bits of me
Despite the fact, I knew damn well
I had already made you bleed
So, I can’t begin to blame you 
For failing to bring me peace
When you fought at first, to make it work
But would never be what I need
Some days 
I cannot fathom a reality 
Where your love spills over
Into the heart of another
But most days
I realize your love for me
Was never a reality at all