Backwards

Why stab me
In the back
If there's already
A hole
In my chest

Tight

He will seize
What is left
Of his pride
But he has
Forgotten
His dignity
Between my lips

You beg those
Around you
To be gentle with
Your fragile soul
Yet you are the one
Who holds the same
Rusty sword
To your own throat

A concept I have grown
Fond of recently
Is the idea that
The only closure
You need to make
Is the closure between you
And your own mistakes

That is where
We are vastly different
For you used
Your intellect to win

And I used mine 
To defend

Down and out
Bruised no doubt
Crawling my way towards you 
Screams and cries
Repeated lies
A love understood by few

Better days
Are on the way
They're on a path
Leading straight
To you

I learned to love his absence
For his absence corresponded
With the exponential growth
In the presence of my own self-love

I could give you
Every inch of my heart
And you would still
Find the measurements
To be unimpressive

just know that
every breath 
I steal from you
helps in reconstructing
the soulless 
parts of me
you may not be able
to reach