“I can feel the heat of your heart,”
he said as he touched me with icy fingers.

I wonder though,  was he melting?

Or was I just left to freeze over?

Depression

It’s quiet. I can hear the ticking of the new clock behind me on the wall, yet time cannot seem to wake me. It is on days like this that I wish someone heard the “quiet” that haunts me. The emptiness that has somehow, without substance, crawled its way into the loudest parts of me, and shut them down.

Like a sharp blade
He cut his way into dark corners
Revealing old tactics
I once thought were buried
It’s time to relinquish
Those destructive ways
Start fresh with new appreciation
For who I am today
Some days 
I cannot fathom a reality 
Where your love spills over
Into the heart of another
But most days
I realize your love for me
Was never a reality at all
Not often is it
That I lose my mind
But in those rare
Empty-headed moments
I find myself oddly free
From the guilt & shame
Of self-afflicted voids
Simply because I realize
I am not lost
Rather I am residing in
The hands of a thief
 Stop trying to steal me
When you could love me
With my hands shaking 
I tried to reach out to you
And hold the parts of you
That were not quite put together
& Even with a heavy warning
I thought I was strong enough 
To bear the burdens of your love
How wrong I was to assume
You could also hold me
I can still feel 
Your fingertips
Grace my neck softly
But like some poisons
You worked 
Slowly and effortlessly 
To infect me 
With a swift touch
And leave me 
Emptier than before
every time I fall in love 
with the sounds of gentle rain 
meeting my window in the night
i’m reminded of the times
my tears never reached your heart
because you saw through me like glass
tell me, did my storms calm you?
while I cried softly in the breeze
to soothe you, you were often forgetting
that you slept during moments of my pain
do you think of me?
when she wraps herself around you
bringing what you think are
similar sensations 
of love and worship

you know her moans
do not float like mine
but you’ll pretend for a night
that she crashes like the waves
my oceans used to give to you