Letters To Him #5

All of the little details and emotions that flood my mind convince me you are a demon most nights, but not tonight. Tonight I realized you aren’t a demon. I realized it is all due to the fact that you were truly my hero. I worshipped you.

I adored you and looked up to you like you were the greatest thing to have ever graced the ground I walked on. I wanted everything and anything good to make its way into your life and paint you in shades of happiness.

But you had other plans, as you reached right into the parts of me that lay void and filled them with warmth right before ripping it all right from my chest. You wrapped me in a facade of energy that felt safe and loving and infinite. I desperately fell for it all, tripping into an inevitable fall that would invariably wound me. Cutting into me deeper each time with evil precision, I couldn’t take it.

I had to go, I had to leave, it was torture.

Letters To Him #4

The nights don’t hurt me anymore, even when your pain feels so lovely. A gravitational pull towards the inevitable, the moon crushes my chest in an effort to make space for your heart.

One of these nights I will hold myself and all of the versions of me I have ever left behind. I will pull on the hands of those who beg to touch, even if pleasure falls through the cracks in my fist.

Hide & Seek

I tried to show you how
There’s no need to be afraid
To join me in the light
To stop hiding in the shade
However I found out
Why you lurk in all that’s dark
You wouldn’t let me see
The evil swirling in your heart