Letters To Him #1

I’m learning the true meaning of vulnerability. I am learning what it means to be open, fully and completely naked in my emotions no matter the consequences. I tend to close myself off after being hurt, or after learning that I can’t trust someone. And while that might be healthy in some ways, I am learning that it is okay to express you are hurt. For a full year I slowly became desensitized, incapable of feeling anything. I felt I never had a place to be open with you, and I really didn’t. Today I want you to know that the way I allowed myself to hurt in your presence was unacceptable. I will never allow self inflicted torture by “staying” ever again. Never again.


You planted a seed of uncertainty 
Which then sprung into this thought
That one day I might walk away
After finding a love you were not

You watered this concept for far too long
It grew to consume your mind
And while you nurtured this false idea
You then foolishly left me behind 

I tried to stop you from losing it all
I planted a different seed
Which then grew into why I left you
For the love I could give back to me