I will love the same way I loved before
I will love someone even if I’m unsure
I will love even when my heart becomes sore
I will love until life lets me love no more
Tag: hurt
Take Me
A playful mind
A treasured find
A heart that’s made of gold
All these things
That I could bring
That you refused to hold
Insincere
I’m weary of people
And apologies
I’m still stuck inside this fear
Since the day you forced me
To believe your lies
When I thought you were sincere
Voids
You wake up one morning and you’re 6 years old again. Confused and shocked you begin to experience the world, but this time the world gives you the support you always wanted. Your mother is sitting with you at a small table in the playroom, teaching you how to draw clouds with crayons. Or perhaps your father is helping you up after falling off of a bike, slowly easing you back on to teach you to balance. You get the love that you had always desired but had never received. But at what cost?
What motivates us is failure, whether it’s our fault or not. What gives us true appreciation for happiness, is those moments of having to swallow sadness. Living in a perfect world would not generate perfect people. Living in a perfect world would desensitize your desire to be a better person. It’s time to take your emotional and physical deficits and realize, that you are not defined by that which you don’t have. Rather, you will find self-worth in the growth you experience while working to close those voids.
Blame
Dusk turns to dawn
It was you all along
Hiding secrets alone in the dark
Will you sanction my pain?
Or continue this game
Where you pick and you pull me apart
With a simple touch
I found myself spinning out of control
Grasping at anything to keep myself steady
And though he knew this all along
He still found himself in a state of confusion
As he watched me inevitably disconnect
From the ground beneath me
Nothing felt better
Than how easy it was
To feel loved by you
Until I learned
It was even easier
For me to feel hated
Into Nothing
I stared into a blank piece of lined paper for possibly an hour, following the margins and tracing the outside edges of the page with my pen. It was unlike me to draw a blank and yet here I was, emptier than I could ever imagine. What could I possibly write? How could I possibly articulate a feeling of nothing.
Impending emotions grow heavy on my chest as mental turns to physical and I am no longer capable of repressing. Not even the sound of my dog’s steady breathing soothes me as I continue to act as though I’m capable of refusing reality. In times like these I would desperately reach out, a phone call away, you’d promise me comfort and soon after I would drift to sleep.
Instead, I find myself in a constant state of self doubt. What was real? What was fake? Who was I to you and who did I become? Never have I ever found myself habitually questioning my own being. Never have I questioned my own words. But I understand now, I understand that sometimes after all is said and done, words turn into nothing.
You promised you could handle
All those broken bits of me
Despite the fact, I knew damn well
I had already made you bleed
So, I can’t begin to blame you
For failing to bring me peace
When you fought at first, to make it work
But would never be what I need
What's Mine Is Yours 