Letters To Him #5

All of the little details and emotions that flood my mind convince me you are a demon most nights, but not tonight. Tonight I realized you aren’t a demon. I realized it is all due to the fact that you were truly my hero. I worshipped you.

I adored you and looked up to you like you were the greatest thing to have ever graced the ground I walked on. I wanted everything and anything good to make its way into your life and paint you in shades of happiness.

But you had other plans, as you reached right into the parts of me that lay void and filled them with warmth right before ripping it all right from my chest. You wrapped me in a facade of energy that felt safe and loving and infinite. I desperately fell for it all, tripping into an inevitable fall that would invariably wound me. Cutting into me deeper each time with evil precision, I couldn’t take it.

I had to go, I had to leave, it was torture.

Letters To Him #4

The nights don’t hurt me anymore, even when your pain feels so lovely. A gravitational pull towards the inevitable, the moon crushes my chest in an effort to make space for your heart.

One of these nights I will hold myself and all of the versions of me I have ever left behind. I will pull on the hands of those who beg to touch, even if pleasure falls through the cracks in my fist.

Assumptions

Lingering in silence 
But you wish to be heard
Expecting the best
Without speaking a word
I cannot read your mind
Darling please help me learn
I may mirror your pain
But assumptions leave burns

Letters To Him #3

I used to pity you, and all that you had gone through. Every action that had led to the scars on your heart, all the wrong you did not deserve. That is until I discovered the vengeance you seek in those you find unworthy. What defines worth, my dear? To you, the expectations on value and respect are never held to your own doing. So what defines worth? Innocent souls trip on mistakes in your path and you condemn them for life. What defines worth? You do realize that this pattern of defining another’s worth, to you, is a viscous cycle of revenge, right?

You will never find happiness and peace while battling a non-existent war. Look around, my dear, for you have wounded those around you who have had nothing but love for you. Hearts that have been misplaced due to your lack of empathy and self serving actions. I hope you finally get what you are looking for, however, I really hope you get what you deserve.